英语如何写好英文邮件—老板我就是要换工作!(1)-英文练习贴18

chaizi
147阅读24评论5 个月前

Hi! Welcome to our discussion about how to write a proper email.

本周我们来拆解如何写一封职场英文邮件~

Here are some tips for writing appropriate openers:

今天我们来研究开场白。以下是tips:

  • include a quick greeting to acknowledge the reader
  • 快速问候读者
  • state your purpose clearly
  • 说明目的
  • choose the right tone (informal vs formal)
  • 选择正确的口吻(非正式vs正式)

下面是这次挑战的设定:

你终于决定要换工作啦!写封信给你的经理,说明你的决定吧。

今天我们只写开场白,大家注意要收住啊~最多不超过3句话,不 超 过 3 句 话

请参考tips,写出清楚而简洁的开场白吧!

-------------------其-------------------他-------------------说-------------------明-------------------

  • 这是社区的 [英文练习帖],欢迎大家积极参与。话不在多,精炼表达是更好的练习。
  • 优质的评论,会被版主“电一下”获得电量奖励;
  • 有问题的评论,也能得到社区特邀的英语老司机们的纠错和润色。这是很好的练习方式,走过路过,不要错过,哈哈
  • 如你想得到更多的练习,欢迎加入【电鸭英语练习计划】,可快速提升自己的英语水平。
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5 个月前Panda

Dear Mr. Yang,
Thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to work together, but I have to say,that I have decided to change my job.
Your sincerely,
Hao

因为是 formal writing, 所以开头使用"Dear Mr./Ms."、没有使用词的缩略形式、口吻相对正式是非常好的地方。
顺带一说,Mr. [US] or Mr [UK]都是可以的。
开场上来讲清自己的目的也很不错~

下面是建议:
but I have to say,that I have decided to change my job.
1.注意小细节,标点符号后面要加空格再接下去写;
2.I have to say that 不需要加逗号。逗号的用法挺复杂也很容易弄错,这里有篇grammarly写的关于逗号详细用法的介绍,感兴趣可以看看https://www.grammarly.com/blog/comma/]
因为今天只讨论开场白,所以结尾署名的部分留到最后一天去讨论~

5 个月前烨烨Yeye

嗯嗯,一般that后面不需要加逗号,直接连下一个句句🤓

5 个月前沈东生(Rick)

Respected Mr. Song,
It is a great honor and pleasure for me to work with you, but all good things come to an end.
I am sorry to tell you that I will change my job in a month for personal reasons.

书信还没有看到过respected xx这样的写法(如果有的话还请告诉我><),用Dear Mr. Song就可以了。其他都很好,清楚直接以及审题正确~~~

5 个月前金木歌

Dear boss:
Wish you have had a nice weekend. After several day's careful consideration, I decide to leave this wonderful team, I'm sorry it's time to say goodbye to you.

首先,Dear Boss, [不可以用别的符号一定是逗号,这是和中文习惯不一样的地方];
再来,这里如果是实际写信的时候,这样的情境下你一定是知道老板的名字/姓氏的,可以用Dear Mr./Ms. +姓氏,如果不知道名字写Sir/Madame。注意首字母一定要大写,这个属于正式邮件目前为止的规则~
时态方面有考虑是好的,不过一般这里用过去式 wish you had 就可以,或者说 hope you had。
After several days' [注意一下细节],这里表达可以写 after a thorough consideration,突出你充分考虑过;
I decide[这里就可以用现在完成时了-I have decided];
下一句是句子粘连问题,上周六语法复盘提到过哈,两个独立句子中间要用句号隔开,或者使用分号和连词。
整体蛮不错的!意思很清楚,审题也正确~~

5 个月前金木歌

Thanks for your correcting!
Dear Sir,
Wish you had a nice weekend, after thorough consideration, I have decide to leave this wonderful team, I'm sorry it's time to say goodbye to you.

5 个月前欧耶山哥

Dear Sir,
I want to ask for the resignation. We have had d nice working relationship, but it's time for me to leave. Thank you for your care and I appreciate it very much.

Best Wishes! 
Cooper
5 个月前烨烨Yeye

Dear Sir,

I want to ask for the (用a代替,因为the特指一件事,但是这个时候你还没喝
和老板说是具体啥事)resignation.

We have had d nice working relationship, (用had a relationship at work,英文中习惯先说明重点再补充其他条件), but it's time for me to leave. Thank you for your care and I appreciate it very much.

结尾用【Yours faithfully] 原因看我的图片评论哈

建议全部抄写一遍印象更深哦

5 个月前欧耶山哥

Thank you for the correcting.

Dear Sir,
I want to ask for a resignation. We have had d nice relationship at work, but it's time for me to leave. Thank you for your care and I appreciate it very much.

Yours faithfully
Cooper

5 个月前烨烨Yeye

Hi Mr Yang,

I hope this email will find your well, It was very nice to work with you, but today I am here to ask leaving my job.

Your sincerely, (为什么用这个问候语来结束看下面👇🏼图片评论)
Ye

参考回复之一

因为比较正式最好是用Dear Mr Yang~以及感觉...find you well, [这里是typo吧感觉你是想打句号的]It...
ask leaving[to leave],用inform you...可能会更好一点点~
开门见山很清楚!
结尾落款我们最后一天再讨论,感谢po上的tips~~

5 个月前烨烨Yeye

以及一些关于邮件人称使用的Tips👆

5 个月前朱迪

Dear Mr Wang:
By this letter I am resigning my position as Software Engineer, effective immediately.
Recent circumstances incompatible with my personal beliefs and styles require that I change my employment.
I appreciate the opportunity to work and learn at XXX Company.
Sincerely
Richard

Dear Mr Wang: [要用","]
第一句总觉得有点点怪," by this letter " 不太直接跟你要表达的意思连用,我看到的都是转述文件内容更多一些。这里建议直接改成" I am writing to inform you of my resignation as a soft engineer... "。以及立即生效的这个口吻总感觉有点点霸道...一般是会根据合同内容留出2周时间并给一个预期离职时间,如果希望立即辞职也许可以考虑加一句" I apologize for the short notice "。
Recent circumstances incompatible[要么放到最前面修饰circumstaces要么用which are incompatible] with my personal beliefs and styles require that I change my employment.
意思表达上是清楚的,但是建议还是注意一下用词,以及考虑一下用在这个情境是否合适。如果你是经常看到有这种用法也欢迎留言告诉我。
下面的部分留到body段和结尾落款去讨论,这篇先是开场白,欢迎后续去续写邮件~

5 个月前谷雨

Dear Mr Wu,

Hope you enjoy your day. It was so happy to work with the team for the last 2 years, but I will leave the company for some reason.

Your sincerely,
Gu

很简单直接,注意是" for some reason[s] "。单说表达没什么问题,不过你可以在这个基础上对词语选择进行优化。比如;" My experience at this company is rewarding, and..."
表达感谢、结尾和落款部分我们会在后面的两天内写到,这里先不展开了。
期待看到你后面的参与~

5 个月前谷雨

Dear Mr Wu,

Hope you enjoy your day. My experience at this company is rewarding and I feel very happy to work with my team everyday, but I will leave the company on this Friday.

Your sincerely,
Gu

嗯嗯。因为下个练习是列举原因,所以就不for some reasons了。

Cool!

5 个月前IJerry

Dear Mr Li,
Thank you for the days we work together. After a thorough consideration, I send this message to you. Please accept it that I will leaving my position on August 15.

5 个月前烨烨Yeye

嗨,很开心看到你的参与和讨论,公平起见,纠错与批改功能暂时只对社群付费用户开放哈。
欢迎你扫码付费入群后继续一起学用英文呐

5 个月前antqi

Dear sir,
I am very grateful for the challenges provided by the company over the past three years, which make me grow from it.
Now I want to tell you a decision, I no longer fit the current development needs of the company and I need a gap year, so I decided to resign.

5 个月前烨烨Yeye

which make me grow from it.
改为Which made me grow a lot (made 用过去式)

I (I后面加 am) no longer fit the current development needs of the company and I need a gap year, I no longer